It’s day 3 and I have been dragging my feet on the challenge and assignment. I’ve got some major catching up to do. Today’s challenge starts with “choosing myself”. Me? Choose Me? Doesn’t that sound self-centered? On the surface this seems to contradict everything I’ve been trying to do. As Christians shouldn’t our focus be on serving others? Less of me and more of God. But here’s the truth about choosing. God chose me first, I don’t get to choose me. Store this one up in your heart so you’re never confused about your purpose…we are to produce fruit and I believe that’s part of the reason why I’m here.
John 15:16 (NLT) 16 You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.
This is going to be uncomfortable for sure but I am going to dive in head first…
because I have been appointed to do so. On Day 4 the assignment is to take a risk and to publish something on my blog that I’ve never said out loud. Today I’m going to kill two birds with one blog. 🙂
Assignment: start something I’m afraid to and share something I’ve never shared…
I don’t have too many inhibitions and I am pretty transparent, so finding something I was scared of would be a challenge. I’ve also pretty much been an open book especially on the post I called “The Naked Truth”. I had to dig deep but there it was…vulnerability and rejection. I don’t typically take chances with people if it could result in rejection and I don’t like admitting it either (it makes me more vulnerable).
I’ve made some life altering choices based on what I perceived to have been rejection in one form or another. Stories that are just too ridiculous and embarrassing to even admit so I’ll keep those stories in my back pocket for now. What I can tell you is how I thought God rejected me and how I responded to that rejection. I really believed that God had no use for me. Believing that I was rejected by my creator, believing that I could never live up to His standards put me on the outside of God’s “circle”. My vision of who He was was so limited and narrow that I couldn’t imagine He would’ve had anything to do with me after I went through my reckless phase (I talk about that in more detail here).
I ended up exploring some pretty dark places in my heart and in my mind. I made choices that could have been detrimental not only to myself but to some of the people I love the most. Rejection bites, so when you’ve been rejected and aren’t strong enough to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going, it can be dangerous.
I’m not that person anymore, so rejection doesn’t scare me as much. A few years back I decided that my life would be an open book and that I would allow God to use me to take the mess I had previously made of my life and turn it into a message of hope for others. So, when I read this assignment I knew exactly what I would have to do.
TIME TO INITIATE
When I started blogging I started following a few Christian bloggers who blessed and encouraged my soul through their writing. One woman in particular, Nikki, whose blog is found at simplystriving, has been a great source of encouragement this year via her writing. A few weeks back I also discovered that she posted two blogs on my life verse “be still and know…” (you can click here to read them if you’d like). So after determining that the worst case scenario would be for her to say no [rejection], I bit the bullet and sent her an email. I explained that I was blessed by her writings and invited her to bless my readers by guest posting on my blog. SHE SAID YES! (Happy dance!) I can’t wait for you to read whatever it is that God lays on her heart. Stay tuned, her post will be up soon.
Here’s the irony in all of this. I didn’t hesitate putting my life story on the blogosphere but it was much harder to reach out to one person with my heart in hand. Turns out it was a great conversation and it feels like I’ve made a new friend.
Thanks Jeff for forcing me out of my comfort zone. And a special thanks to Nikki for your willingness to share something in my neck of the woods.
That’s my story but I can’t possibly be alone. Have you taken a leap of faith and done something out of character? I’d love to hear how you deal with being vulnerable or how you cope with rejection.
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Learning & Sharing ’til we all know,
Diana